I am a big-time researcher of topics that cause me to worry.  I research: how to make your first grader sleep in her own room?  Answer: you can’t make anyone sleep, but she may be more comfortable if you let her sleep with her younger sister.  Research: can you be an imperfect Jesus follower?  Answer: you were never meant to be perfect.  Just be loving and follow along.  Research: what is the “best” trait you can teach your children? Answer: stop using superlatives already! But there is one defining characteristic that is teachable even from a young age: grit.  

I first found out about this difference-maker, this character trait that is usually a better predictor of success than emotional intelligence, socio-economic factors and even IQ from a TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth.  Duckworth talks about grit as a combination of passion and perseverance.  And she talks about how, even though there is still much work to be done, grittiness can be taught to our children. 

So my gritty mindset went to work.  I jumped on board with testing my own theories, learning, persevering, and being brave and gritty with my own kids.  I bought kids’ books on making mistakes: The Beautiful Oops and The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes. 

We talked about how even adults make mistakes, and even though it’s hard and it sometimes makes us sad when we make mistakes, if we learn from them, it can turn it around into something good.  Shifting the mentality of Mistakes = Bad to Mistakes = Learning and Learning = Good is truly mind-blowing for a kid!! 

I got my husband on board with using the term “gritty girl”, and together, we used it as a motivator to keep our girls going when they struggled.  Learning to ski for the first time: “Be a gritty girl, and let’s keep trying.”  Not giving up when your soccer team is losing: “I’m so proud of you all for being gritty girls and sticking with it!  You tied because you didn’t quit!”  Falling down, and seeing the tears start at the corners of their eyes: “Riding a bike is hard, but if you keep being a gritty girl, you’ll be able to ride as fast as the big kids one day!”  And even non-physical times: “This spelling list is really challenging, but I will help you keep trying and try some more, until you can get it.  That’s being a gritty girl.“

It started making an impact on my own mindset.  I was having a rough season at work, and I know my kids were feeling my stress (because let’s be honest – I wasn’t doing a great job at hiding it!)  But I kept going because I needed to learn from this season.  That was my mind shift.  Persevere so you can come out of it stronger, new lessons learned under your belt, and with a newfound clarity on your next right step.  

I made it through to the other side of that stress.  I still have my sometimes imperfect, but rewarding and challenging job, but I also have a new outlook on my next right step.  I am stepping into a new passion with writing and sharing my words with the world, and I’m doing it more bravely than I ever thought possible.  When I stumble (and not if) I will continue to go back to the reason why I started this to begin with.  And every time I pick myself back up, I’ll dust myself off and hold my head high and say that I was a gritty girl.