As a parent, I’ve done quite a bit of research on how to set my kids up for success. What can I teach them? How can I shape them into fine human? What ideals can I instill in them? In my me-search I’ve compiled a list of 10 helpful tips in how to teach your child to have grit. We’ll start with the basics.
What is Grit? And Can I Teach It?
Depending on the source grit can be defined as “strength of character” or “courage and resolve”. Angela Duckworth, the psychologist known for her TED Talk on grit uses this definition: “Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” I like to explain it to my kids as determination and a never-give-up kind of attitude.
The thing that I love about grit is that it IS teachable! I’ll be digging into a few tips and tricks that I’ve read about, learned and tried out with my own kids over the next few days to help us all in teaching our children how to tap into their own grit.
And don’t worry, it doesn’t involve shame, guilt or rubbing any dirt on anything to walk it off.
Tip #1: Teach Criticism
One of the easiest ways to shut down a person of any age is to unfairly criticize them. For a child to hear criticism, it can often be so damaging, they never pick back up that “thing” again. But what if our children knew how to not only handle criticism, but to use it as a stepping stone for growth?
How do you teach criticism? You PRACTICE it. Role play and let them practice being both the receiver and the critic.
One of the easiest ways to do this is through cooking. Try a new recipe as a family, then take turns critiquing the meal. How would you have done it differently when you cook it next time? Would you have changed any of the ingredients? Would you have cooked it in a different way? Are the flavor combinations to your liking, or would you prefer to make it more savory, more sweet, less tart?
Talk through the process to teach your children that each piece of feedback is a new opportunity to make the dish better. Use the meal as an analogy for our every day lives. When we receive criticism, coaching or feedback from a teacher, a coach, a parent or a boss, we have the choice to look at it as an opportunity or an insult. If we only hear the comments as negative, we could shut down and never try the recipe again. But if we incorporate the feedback into the next time we cook, just think how much better you could make the dish on the second, third or fourth try.
Trying a new recipe. 
Can we taste it now?
The Positivity Colander
This requires practice and a positivity filter, as not all feedback is given in the same way (if you’ve ever had a harsh boss or coach, you can relate!) Using another cooking metaphor, think of receiving feedback as dumping hot noodles into a colander. We let the hot water just pass through – that’s the negativity that can sometimes be wrapped up in the learning. And it can burn, but it’s not worth holding onto. What’s left, though, is the delicious pasta – those are the lessons that can feed us to help us grow.
You can share your own experiences in receiving criticism and how to “sift” out the lessons from the critiques. You may even find that your children can teach you how to react or provide feedback differently to help them hear it better. In the meantime, you’re also teaching your children how to provide criticism in a way that is helpful and positive. What great little leaders we can help create for our future world!
When we help our kids receive criticism and feedback in a positive way, we create opportunities for them to learn and grow into the beautiful and wonderfully made humans living into their fullest potential.
Try this with your own kids and share your feedback.
